"You have an Ugly Baby"
That phrase probably carries less emotional punch than this one...
"Twilight is one of the worst movies I have ever seen"
***I should probably put in a SPOILER Disclaimer as well as a RIP ON Disclaimer. So if you feel in anyway Emotionally attached to Twilight you should probably STOP reading NOW!!!***
No seriously, you should STOP!!!! okay,continue if you insist, but you realize that this is not on the same lines of reveling the true nature of Santa. And there is no apology at the end for my opinions, and will probably lead you to have unresolved feelings.
Okay then... On our way home from Utah, Aphie picked up the movie to watch. And probably the downfall is, I had to listen to the dialogue. Ahhhh it was brutal. It is so bad It's good!!! I actually can't stop watching it, I feel I haven't learned all the appropriate one liners yet. For instance my favorite line is... okay I'll count down my ten favorite worst moments of Twilight. And just so you know I loop the movie, and I tune in at the appropriate moments.
10. "The Kitchen Scene"here they formally introduce the Cullen Family. This has B-movie all over it. the timing is awkward, the actors look out of place. And the dialogue and acting is horrendous. The actors them selves are not bad, I have seen them in other work. It feels more like rehearsal, than principal.
9. "Anytime Bella is on Edward's Back running up a mountain." really just reading that line says it all.
8. "My Dad paid me $20 bucks to come and talk to you" Someone should get their money back.
7. The Product placement. Rainier beer. Pepsi. Rainier Beer. Nestle water. Rainier Beer. Volvo. I can't really blame either side. This is going to be a BIG movie. I was surprised that the Cullen's weren't drinking Rainer beer.
6. "It was an adrenaline rush. It is very common. You can Google it."
5. "Edwards Introduction to Charlie Swan".
Bella: "Dad I want you to meet Edward"
Dad: "Okay"
Bella:"he is outside"
Dad:"Okay Bring him in"
Bella Turns takes 3 steps into the kitchen returns instantaneously with Edward.
Again it's a timing issue and it looks like they went with the rehearsal footage. And I am pretty sure there is something they could to do to reduce the hallow sound. Maybe someone figured if the saved the $500 to properly sound the rented house. they could add it to their profit line. maybe they didn't realize that the movie would gross $376,736,165 world wide. Who knew teenage girls had so much money to spend.
4. "The Mom" okay I realize in the book she is described as flaky or an airhead. but this is outright ridiculous. All her shots are tight on her face, hard to get a sense of her, and then she lost me when on the phone with Bella she asks "are you being safe??" just awkward and unnecessary.
3. "Wiggle fingers." Bella's friend Mike making the same finger gestures that the wiggles do. It's not cool on a group of 30-40yr something men in primary color costumes. It is definitely not cool here.
2. I love Jaspers look on his face, some may describe as a lack of human blood, but i think it's a lack of something else.
1. Port Angeles. "talk to me, distract me from going back there" You don't know what those low lifes were thinking" AHHH its so Bad I LOVE IT!!!! The whole volvo thing is not very Vampire Sexy, Especially when saving your wanna be girlfriend, from a group of Port Angeles Hooligans. Even Jasper has a Mercedes. The Cullens have a garage full of Cash, Edward could upgrade.
That phrase probably carries less emotional punch than this one...
"Twilight is one of the worst movies I have ever seen"
***I should probably put in a SPOILER Disclaimer as well as a RIP ON Disclaimer. So if you feel in anyway Emotionally attached to Twilight you should probably STOP reading NOW!!!***
No seriously, you should STOP!!!! okay,continue if you insist, but you realize that this is not on the same lines of reveling the true nature of Santa. And there is no apology at the end for my opinions, and will probably lead you to have unresolved feelings.
Okay then... On our way home from Utah, Aphie picked up the movie to watch. And probably the downfall is, I had to listen to the dialogue. Ahhhh it was brutal. It is so bad It's good!!! I actually can't stop watching it, I feel I haven't learned all the appropriate one liners yet. For instance my favorite line is... okay I'll count down my ten favorite worst moments of Twilight. And just so you know I loop the movie, and I tune in at the appropriate moments.
10. "The Kitchen Scene"here they formally introduce the Cullen Family. This has B-movie all over it. the timing is awkward, the actors look out of place. And the dialogue and acting is horrendous. The actors them selves are not bad, I have seen them in other work. It feels more like rehearsal, than principal.
9. "Anytime Bella is on Edward's Back running up a mountain." really just reading that line says it all.
8. "My Dad paid me $20 bucks to come and talk to you" Someone should get their money back.
7. The Product placement. Rainier beer. Pepsi. Rainier Beer. Nestle water. Rainier Beer. Volvo. I can't really blame either side. This is going to be a BIG movie. I was surprised that the Cullen's weren't drinking Rainer beer.
6. "It was an adrenaline rush. It is very common. You can Google it."
5. "Edwards Introduction to Charlie Swan".
Bella: "Dad I want you to meet Edward"
Dad: "Okay"
Bella:"he is outside"
Dad:"Okay Bring him in"
Bella Turns takes 3 steps into the kitchen returns instantaneously with Edward.
Again it's a timing issue and it looks like they went with the rehearsal footage. And I am pretty sure there is something they could to do to reduce the hallow sound. Maybe someone figured if the saved the $500 to properly sound the rented house. they could add it to their profit line. maybe they didn't realize that the movie would gross $376,736,165 world wide. Who knew teenage girls had so much money to spend.
4. "The Mom" okay I realize in the book she is described as flaky or an airhead. but this is outright ridiculous. All her shots are tight on her face, hard to get a sense of her, and then she lost me when on the phone with Bella she asks "are you being safe??" just awkward and unnecessary.
3. "Wiggle fingers." Bella's friend Mike making the same finger gestures that the wiggles do. It's not cool on a group of 30-40yr something men in primary color costumes. It is definitely not cool here.
2. I love Jaspers look on his face, some may describe as a lack of human blood, but i think it's a lack of something else.
1. Port Angeles. "talk to me, distract me from going back there" You don't know what those low lifes were thinking" AHHH its so Bad I LOVE IT!!!! The whole volvo thing is not very Vampire Sexy, Especially when saving your wanna be girlfriend, from a group of Port Angeles Hooligans. Even Jasper has a Mercedes. The Cullens have a garage full of Cash, Edward could upgrade.
I'll stop it there! But I could go on , and on, and on...
Things I liked:
1. The end. I'm just being bratty. I did like the final scene under the canopy of white lights. I'll even give in a little and say that Edward looked less like a freak and more like a Vampire.
2. I tried, but can't. Ohh wait! yes! I liked the soundtrack.
Here's a little something:
From the new Movie: New Moon, is the wolf pack
They are filming here in the city, so we're all abuzz with Twilight.
And Jacob(aka Taylor Lautner):
Enjoy!My blatent attempt to distract you!!!
And Feel free to comment on your favorite Twilight moment I'd love to hear it,
I am obsessed with it!
8 comments:
Jen, Chris and I thought Jasper looked like he was constipated. We saw it in a theatre at Christmas time and we were glad there were hardly any people there since we kept laughing at inappropriate times.
Aunt Joan
Aunt Joan- I would have loved to watch the movie with you!!! Aphie and I love to quote it, like when ever we walk into each others room" I love to watch you sleep, I've been doing it for 3 months" the fun just doesn't end!!
You might enjoy this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sILnTjYlNxc
Heidi-- that was sweet!!! Hands down the best line is "get on my back, I'm gonna give you a Vampire Ride"! Thank you Heidi, It's why I LOVE you!!!
I liked the books and was very disapointed with the movie. I hope that they will put more time and effort into future movies. With the 4th I hope they DON'T FOLLOW THE BOOK AT ALL!!! IT STUNK!!!
The movie had lots of moments didn't it. Jasper killed me, His faces were so........overacted/constipated/angry/stiff. I admit I got really sick of Bella's expressions. I wish they would make Twilight all over again now that they are rolling in $.
I love your post it cracks me up.
Yes I am NERDY enough to go to the next movie. Hopeless romantic.
I love love love the books... all of them.. before anyone else even knew they existed... The movie, not so much. (I did see it in pre viewing before midnight in theaters, and I also went to walmart at midnight to purchase it)I have watched it many times and you named every cheesy line. although i feel like you missed a few lame parts...
Edwards sparkly skin in the sun... looks like he got into a little girls make up bag....
The awkward scene in the cafe with Bella and Charlie...awkward is the only work I can think of...
Now just watch the deleted and extended scenes they were smart to leave them out... but they are entertaining to watch.
I do have to admit I think Edward is hot... but only in ONE part.. when Edward and Bella become "public" and he is opening the car door for her... with his sungalsses he looks a little James Dean.... maybe thats why.
Lets just hope they redeem themselves on the next movie.
Melissa
ps, I love reading you blog... makes me feel more part of your world.. i miss you!
Anne, I love your take on it. I loved the movie for all the wrong reasons. I thought the look on Jasper's face was hilarious, but the intense looks Edward gave were even funnier. Charlie was the best actor of the bunch, imho. Don't get me started on Bella, but she was good because that's how she was written in the book anyway (at least she wasn't as whiny as in the book - sheesh, that girl drove me nuts!).
And am I the only one who thinks Edward sounds like he might be mentally challenged? He talks a little on the slow side...I'm just sayin'...
But because I love me a cheesy movie (and I've also read the books 18 billion times, except for the last one, which I read once but that's a whole other story), I'll be back to watch the next movie for sure :)
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